Wow, as I sit here and write this I can hardly believe how much has changed in the last week. Last Sunday was my official due date… The day I had counted down for. It seemed so far away for so long! My parents, Chris and I actually went out sledding on my due date (I just took pictures, no sledding for me). Chris and I also decided to paint the wall in our bedroom that we had been putting off painting. I had been having contractions off and on for awhile. Last Saturday I was actually on the verge of going to the hospital because I thought it was time. I would have several intense contractions, and just when they got “regular” they would space out. Monday morning came and I had a doctors appointment, I was dilated to 3cm and about 80% effaced. Typically they would wait until 41 weeks to induce, but my parents were only in town until the end of the week so the doctor said I could go in after Midnight that night. After all this wondering and waiting it was really going to happen, she was going to be here!! I tried to rest as much as I could throughout the day, but my mind was racing… wondering how it would happen, what she would look like, what it would feel like. Around 9:30pm that night I laid down to try to get some rest… next thing I know I wake up and its 11:45pm and we were supposed to be at the hospital at 12… and it was snowing… good thing we were already packed! We got to the hospital, got checked in and set, and around 1:15am they started the Pitocin. They start it off at 2mg and say they can go up to 30mg. The contractions started coming pretty soon after they got the Pitocin going, they started off pretty mild. I thought this isn’t too bad…. haha, I had no idea! They only got the Pitocin up to 6mg before turning off the drip because my body took over on its own. Suddenly around 3:30-4am they took a turn from tolerable to intense. The nurse checked and I had made enough progress for them to give me the epidural. Oh, what a miracle that was. I was a little nervous about the actual process of getting the epidural but it wasn’t painful at all. I was able to get some rest after getting the epidural. The nurse came in again to check me around 6:15am and right as she was getting ready to check if I had dilated more my water broke on its own. That was a crazy feeling…. a loud pop and gush. After the water broke they were having a hard time finding Paytons heartbeat so they gave me internal monitors. My doctor came in around 8:30am and said I was 8-9cm and I would probably have a baby before lunch time. The doctor and nurses all left the room and just a little after 9am I had to call the nurse back in because I was feeling pressure and the urge to push. She checked and I was fully dilated and ready to go. I started pushing but it was so painful they had to come and readjust the epidural. After they fixed that I was good to go. I pushed for a little more than an hour, they kept telling me her head was right there and I just needed to push a little harder. I didn’t believe them. I just got into the zone and kept going. There was a good 15 minutes I wasn’t sure she was going to come out. I had my eyes closed and just kept pushing until my mom told me to open my eyes cause she was coming out. The flood of emotions was outrageous. They had to take her away right away because she swallowed some meconium, even just looking at her from across the room I was already so enamored with her. She was absolutely perfect. 7 pounds even, 20 1/4 inches long born at 10:48am. She came out with precious pink skin and to my surprise some peach fuzz! I thought for sure she would have dark hair. I’m sure it will get darker, mine did. When they finally brought her to me it was just unbelievable that this precious little girl lived inside me and was now here with us. It is just so miraculous the way God designed our bodies to be able to do this. Recovery has been a lot easier than I expected. I was up and around within just hours after giving birth. I know this is just the beginning of a lifetime of memorable moments with our little one.
Once again I find myself unable to sleep. I tossed and turned in bed for about an hour, then for the sake of my soundly sleeping husband decided to come downstairs so he could continue to rest. I looked out the window to find the ground covered in a thick blanket of white. Something about that seems so magical… at least it does from the inside looking out. I’d change my mind rather quickly if I had to go out in it I’m sure.
Fast Forward a few hours….
Its now almost 9am. I drifted off to sleep for a short 30 minutes and then woke up to make sure chris woke up for work. I was really looking forward to today seeing as it was our weekly doctors appointment…. I was hoping to see some progress and possibly schedule an induction to give me some sort of date to look forward to rather than having this uncertainty… Then my phone rings and its the doctors office… turns out my doctor has the flu so she won’t be in today… my appointment got rescheduled for thursday. I’m hoping that maybe I’ll go into labor before than, but at this point I don’t know if that will ever happen. So, now here I am all ready to go… and no place to go! And of course it snowed all night so the roads are bad… so I can’t go anywhere. Guess thats ok though, I can take a nap to catch up on the sleep i’ve missed the last few nights….
so here I am sitting downstairs in a dark quiet house at 6:30 in the morning because I just can’t seem to get back to sleep. I wish I could say it was horrible contraction pains that woke me up, but it wasn’t. I have been having some mild contractions off and on, but nothing to warrant a trip to the hospital. I was so sure that I would have this baby already… but apparently she has other plans. I know, I know… first time moms usually go “late”… but I was sure I was different. So, I find myself home on maternity leave and running out of things to clean and organize!! I will say, however, it has been nice to relax and really start to wrap my mind around the idea that i’m about to become a mom. I think throughout the entire pregnancy i’ve been keeping myself so busy its just in these last few weeks its becoming “real”. As I sit on the couch watching TV and look over at the swing and bouncer in the next room I try to imagine what life will look like with a little one. I wonder what she’ll look like and what kind of a personality she’ll have. The magnitude of this life change is starting to hit home… for the last 2 1/2 years its been just me and Chris. For the rest of our lives it will be our “family”. In some ways I don’t feel nearly old enough to be having a child of my own, but I know that Chris and I are going to be great parents and the timing is perfect.
The “nervousness” of labor and delivery has quickly faded into anxiousness of when will this baby be here? I’m not really scared at all. I’m more excited than anything. I’m ready to get this show on the road! The thing is I have no control over when she decides to come. Maybe thats the hardest part… just not knowing. She’s already calling the shots and she’s not even here yet!!
So here I am playing the waiting game… trying my best to be patient…. But anxiously looking forward to having a precious little one to share life with.