time flies!

My how life has changed!! Here it is almost 9pm on a Saturday night and Chris is sitting on the couch playing with Payton, I just finished cleaning up the kitchen after a home cooked dinner. This time a year ago we would have been out doing something… hanging out, going out to eat or to a movie… I wouldn’t trade this life for anything though.

These last two weeks have been some of the craziest times of my life. Payton finally arrived and we couldn’t have been happier. She is the most perfect little girl. When we were in the hospital and the pediatrician came to see here we just didn’t have a good feeling about that doctor… she seemed so spacey. Payton was born on Tuesday and she told us to make an appointment for her the following Thursday, over a week later. Now, I was exclusively breastfeeding, and everything I read said that she should be seen within the first few days after leaving the hospital to make sure everything is going well with weight gain and such. When she was born she was exactly 7 pounds. When we left the hospital she was 6 pounds 8 ounces. Well, since we didn’t really get a good feeling from the pediatrician we made an appointment with a different doctor for Tuesday. We went in expecting everything to be normal, but she was down to 6 pounds 2 ounces. She also had only had one bowel movement since we brought her home from the hospital.  But she lost 13% of her birth weight. Normal weight loss for an infant is no more than 10% of the birth weight, so the doctor had us admitted to the hospital. We started supplementing with formula and they monitored her weight gain. The first day she only gained 5 grams and still hadn’t had another bowel movement so they kept us overnight again. The second day she gained quite a bit more and was up to 6 pounds 5 ounces when we left. As miniscule as it may seem to be hospitalized for weight loss but as a first time mom I was a little scared. It was so hard to watch them try to take blood from her, she was so good though, barely cried. Me, on the other hand, I cried quite a bit. I was worried something might be really wrong. As it turns out they think she wasn’t getting enough nutrients from the breastmilk so her body was holding on to everything it could, which is why she wasn’t pooping. Being in that situation really made me appreciate the parents who have kids in the hospital full time. I can’t image that. Even just 2 days in the hospital wondering if everything was ok with my baby girl wore me out. I knew all along God was in control… but I have to admit I still struggled with worry. I feel like I went through mommy boot camp on crack. I’m thankful for the experience though… it really taught me a lot.

Being home with her the last couple of days has been nice. She is so sweet to watch. She makes the funniest faces and doesn’t even know it. I’m just in awe of the fact that just 2 weeks ago she was still inside my belly… No words can describe the depth of love that I have for this little life. I often find myself just staring at her, wondering what kind of plan God has for her life. I’m so thankful that he sees me fit to care for this little one. I know these past 2 weeks have gone by fast, and I’m sure time will continue to fly… but for now i’m content soaking in every moment with my little princess 🙂

The Birth Story.

Wow, as I sit here and write this I can hardly believe how much has changed in the last week. Last Sunday was my official due date… The day I had counted down for. It seemed so far away for so long! My parents, Chris and I actually went out sledding on my due date (I just took pictures, no sledding for me). Chris and I also decided to paint the wall in our bedroom that we had been putting off painting. I had been having contractions off and on for awhile. Last Saturday I was actually on the verge of going to the hospital because I thought it was time. I would have several intense contractions, and just when they got “regular” they would space out. Monday morning came and I had a doctors appointment, I was dilated to 3cm and about 80% effaced. Typically they would wait until 41 weeks to induce, but my parents were only in town until the end of the week so the doctor said I could go in after Midnight that night. After all this wondering and waiting it was really going to happen, she was going to be here!! I tried to rest as much as I could throughout the day, but my mind was racing… wondering how it would happen, what she would look like, what it would feel like. Around 9:30pm that night I laid down to try to get some rest… next thing I know I wake up and its 11:45pm and we were supposed to be at the hospital at 12… and it was snowing… good thing we were already packed! We got to the hospital, got checked in and set, and around 1:15am they started the Pitocin. They start it off at 2mg and say they can go up to 30mg. The contractions started coming pretty soon after they got the Pitocin going, they started off pretty mild. I thought this isn’t too bad…. haha, I had no idea! They only got the Pitocin up to 6mg before turning off the drip because my body took over on its own. Suddenly around 3:30-4am they took a turn from tolerable to intense. The nurse checked and I had made enough progress for them to give me the epidural. Oh, what a miracle that was. I was a little nervous about the actual process of getting the epidural but it wasn’t painful at all. I was able to get some rest after getting the epidural. The nurse came in again to check me around 6:15am and right as she was getting ready to check if I had dilated more my water broke on its own. That was a crazy feeling…. a loud pop and gush. After the water broke they were having a hard time finding Paytons heartbeat so they gave me internal monitors. My doctor came in around 8:30am and said I was 8-9cm and I would probably have a baby before lunch time. The doctor and nurses all left the room and just a little after 9am I had to call the nurse back in because I was feeling pressure and the urge to push. She checked and I was fully dilated and ready to go. I started pushing but it was so painful they had to come and readjust the epidural. After they fixed that I was good to go. I pushed for a little more than an hour, they kept telling me her head was right there and I just needed to push a little harder. I didn’t believe them. I just got into the zone and kept going. There was a good 15 minutes I wasn’t sure she was going to come out. I had my eyes closed and just kept pushing until my mom told me to open my eyes cause she was coming out. The flood of emotions was outrageous. They had to take her away right away because she swallowed some meconium, even just looking at her from across the room I was already so enamored with her. She was absolutely perfect. 7 pounds even, 20 1/4 inches long born at 10:48am. She came out with precious pink skin and to my surprise some peach fuzz! I thought for sure she would have dark hair. I’m sure it will get darker, mine did. When they finally brought her to me it was just unbelievable that this precious little girl lived inside me and was now here with us. It is just so miraculous the way God designed our bodies to be able to do this. Recovery has been a lot easier than I expected. I was up and around within just hours after giving birth. I know this is just the beginning of a lifetime of memorable moments with our little one.

insomnia.

Once again I find myself unable to sleep. I tossed and turned in bed for about an hour, then for the sake of my soundly sleeping husband decided to come downstairs so he could continue to rest. I looked out the window to find the ground covered in a thick blanket of white. Something about that seems so magical… at least it does from the inside looking out. I’d change my mind rather quickly if I had to go out in it I’m sure.

Fast Forward a few hours….

Its now almost 9am. I drifted off to sleep for a short 30 minutes and then woke up to make sure chris woke up for work. I was really looking forward to today seeing as it was our weekly doctors appointment…. I was hoping to see some progress and possibly schedule an induction to give me some sort of date to look forward to rather than having this uncertainty… Then my phone rings and its the doctors office… turns out my doctor has the flu so she won’t be in today… my appointment got rescheduled for thursday. I’m hoping that maybe I’ll go into labor before than, but at this point I don’t know if that will ever happen. So, now here I am all ready to go… and no place to go! And of course it snowed all night so the roads are bad… so I can’t go anywhere. Guess thats ok though, I can take a nap to catch up on the sleep i’ve missed the last few nights….