Confused

Well hello there friends. How was your weekend? I hope you moms had a great mothers day! I sure did. It’s always a good day when I get to spend it with this cutie

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I actually got to sleep in, then we laid in bed cuddling for a bit. The hubs made breakfast while I took a long shower and took my time getting ready. After doing some housework I took Little P shopping for some new shoes. Girlfriend is quite the shopper. She found some shoes she loved right away and wouldn’t change her mind, no matter how hard I tried. Love her. We looked at clothes too. She walked around the girls section exclaiming “This is SO cute. Mom, can I buy this?” And holding things up asking me if it looked good. Hilarious.  We went to lunch with the hubs family at Cheesecake Factory. This would be our fourth night in a row eating out. Whoops.

Can we talk about food for second? Because lately I’ve just been really confused by it. You see – I did the Whole30 last month and I had great results. But I struggled. The idea of being SO restrictive made me miserable. I wanted stuff I haven’t had in so long, and normally wouldn’t want, just because I “couldn’t” have it. And if we’re being honest here… The last 2 weeks have been a continuous “cheat” because I wanted to relish in the fact that I “could” have whatever I wanted. We traveled to Pittsburgh and I ran a half marathon, which I used as an excuse to eat an ungodly amount of processed carbs. I’ve tried to find the balance in the last week or so but I just don’t know what to do.

My problem is I want/need to lose more weight. But I also want/need to get stronger. So how do I balance that? For the past year I have been eating mostly grain-free. I still have some dairy and legumes, so not totally paleo. And I often indulge in desserts and meals that are less than healthy. The reason I did the Whole30 was because I had hit a plateau and was tired of gaining and losing the same 5 pounds. I made great progress, but it really did mess with me mentally. Now I’m afraid of “restricting” myself too much because I don’t want to end up coming off something and eating everything in sight….

So I guess what I’m saying is I just don’t know how to balance it all. I need to do more research on what to eat to gain muscle while losing fat, but mostly I want to find something that clicks with me mentally as well.

All that to say I’m just confused.

Any advice?
How was your mothers day?

Whole30 Results & Afterthoughts

It.Is.Finished.

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I learned a lot about myself over these past 30 days. I faced temptation and stood strong.

When I started this I didn’t imagine it would be as hard as it was. I thought I ate “pretty clean” and that making adjustments to my eating wouldn’t be that difficult. I don’t eat bread/pasta/tortilla/rice all that much and I honestly don’t miss it, so that wasn’t a big deal. The things I struggled with the most was not “paleo-fying” or recreating favorite old foods. I can deal with no grains, even no dairy or legumes… but no paleo pancakes? no paleo pizza? no paleo cookies? ugh. that was tough. Towards the end of week 4 I started to go a little crazy – wanting things I don’t normally even want just because I couldn’t have them. I got tired of having to analyze every little thing I put in my mouth. It was eye opening how much mindlessly goes in my mouth, but at the same time thinking about it non stop for 30 days kinda made me crazy.

I generally felt good, not bloated or gassy. I did sometimes feel tired, but I think I just didn’t eat enough some days. I slept a ton better, for sure.

it was hard, but it was worth it though.

Now onto my Whole30 Results…

When I weighed in I was at 195.4
Today I was at 187.
Total Loss – 8.4lbs

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The left is the start. The right is the finish. 30 days in between.
(please ignore that ugly bruise. 180lb back squat #fail)

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I’m very pleased with the results. I knew my stomach was getting smaller but I was surprised at the growth in my arms/shoulders! I actually look like I have muscles!

And lets not forget where I came from… This is my CrossFit Before and After:

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I’m so proud of how far I’ve come. I feel really good about it. I’ve worked hard for this. My plan going out is to continue to make healthy food choices. I don’t need dessert every night. I don’t need to splurge every time we go out to eat. We ate out quite a bit these 30 days and I made healthy choices every time. It is doable. I just have to find the balance that works for my body.

Whole30 April: Week 4 Recap

Week 1 Recap
Week 2 Recap
Week 3 Recap

Glory Hallelujah it is the end of week 4. I seriously thought this day would never come. I’ll post my full results and afterthoughts on Wednesday for Weigh In Wednesday. Today you get a little recap of this past week. And man was it a doozy.

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I’ll be totally honest, this week my heart was not in it. I’m just ready to be done. I didn’t do a ton of food prep and have just been skating by on what I had. I’ve probably eaten out more than I should. I always make generally “compliant” choices – but don’t worry about prep methods or sourcing. I’m not really even burnt out or craving certain foods… but the thought of not being “allowed” to have them makes me want them. I want the freedom to be able to make my own choices… which is funny because I CHOSE to do this. They talk about getting into the swing of things and starting to feel the “tiger blood” of extra energy and such. I really didn’t feel that. I haven’t felt bad, actually I’ve felt pretty normal. I’ve experienced less bloating/gas. It is just mentally starting to wear on me. I’ve kept mostly on course except for yesterday… I’ll talk more about that in a minute. But here are some of my favorite meals/snacks from the week:

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Top Left: Jimmy Johns Unwich – Turkey, veggies, guac in a lettuce wrap.
Top Right: GTs Kombucha, with a boiled egg and dates
Bottom Left: Probably my favorite quick bite – Dates topped with Sunbutter. Amazeballs.
Bottom Right: Lettuce Wrap Tacos with Pico and Avocado. Delicious.

Now about yesterday… We went to a BBQ place for lunch. I was hungry, cranky, and totally done with overanalyzing my food choices every freaking time I eat. So I had pulled chicken, tasted the BBQ sauce, had applesauce and white potato french fries. And they were good.

But that wasn’t the worst of it… Then we went to Six Flags. We walked around and rode rides (Payt rode her first “big kid” roller coaster! It was too cute!) Then this happened….

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I ate maybe 1/4 of it. It was so good. In the most artificial way possible. Like I could taste the fakeness. I then had a headache. and proceeded to be in a sugar induced nap coma for 3 hours. It was awful. So good. But so not worth it. Ah well- live and learn.

I think I got to the point where my body has adapted pretty well to this eating style and stopped giving me the same results. This always happens when I try something new or drastic. I’ll see awesome results the first few weeks and then it just stops. I just have to keep switching it up.

Technically we have another day on Whole30 April. I’m just trying to readjust my mind to “letting” myself entertain the idea of off limit foods in moderation. I don’t want to binge. That obviously leads to nothing good. I don’t want to undo what I’ve done these past 4 weeks. I just want to take what I’ve learned and apply it to a more balanced lifestyle. Something I want to remember as we head to Pittsburgh this weekend! Can’t wait to meet up with the rest of the #runfor crew at the Dicks Sporting Goods Half Marathon!

How was your week? Link it up!