I’m still alive!

Wow, has it really been a month since I’ve posted? To be honest, it seems longer… haha. This past month has been a doozy. To be honest, I’m still trying to level out. In the past month my baby sister had a baby (WHAT?!), I’ve made several dresses, skirts, some curtains, baby blankets, burp rags, aprons and all sorts of other things, stopped working out regularly, started working out regularly again, baked all kinds of goodies, spent 5 days in Florida visiting my new niece and family, started a new term of school, got our screen printing business up and running (need tshirts? go to www.smashingapparel.com for more info) and am planning a baby shower for one of my friends this Sunday at our house, so that is keeping me busy too! Plus a million other things I can’t even remember right now…. so here are a few updates in pictures, enjoy!

Payton modeling her easter dress I made for her
Robin’s nest cupcakes for easter
check out smashingapparel.com!
Payton at the Splashground in Florida with my family
Payton at the beach for the first time
We had dinner with the Spans in Florida. I think she likes Marty’s burgers!
Cousins!
baby Bella loves her auntie!
life lately looks a lot like this.
Payton’s first visit to the zoo
Payton at Cracker Barrel on mothers day
Brown and pink dot tunic I made for Payt
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cupcakes

 

twenty-four.

happy birthday, to me.

growing up birthdays were always special. it was the one day of the year that we stopped being “the kids” and got to be special on our own. it was a day of being honored and praised. self consciousness was gone as i walked around wearing any variation of a tiara. i was the princess. i remember loving when my birthday would fall on a sunday or wednesday so i could spend it at church. when i started public school i was actually sad that my birthday fell on spring break cause i didn’t get to walk around and flaunt my birthday.

some birthdays are more memorable than others. i’m pretty sure my 15th birthday was one of the most notorious for a very specific reason….

 

For my sweet 16 my parents threw me a surprise party. For my 18th, everyone pretended to forget about my birthday, I got locked out of my house and felt neglected… until my family and friends surprised me with a “pimp my ride” style car makeover after a memorable outback dinner. I loved my smiley-mobile. Wish I could find a picture of it…

On my 19th birthday I was in San Francisco at the San Fran Battle Cry at SBC park working registration with one of the best bosses I’ve ever had (Love ya Mr G!)

My 20th I was sick as a dog but doing what I always wanted to, traveling and acting! It was actually in Nashville that I spent my birthday weekend.

My 20th year was a big year, I moved across the country and got married! I’m so thankful I didn’t hesitate to elope. Best decision ever.

My 21st was pretty great, my first birthday as a married woman! We went to outback with our extended “family”

My 22nd birthday we signed an offer on our house. things change a lot in a year.

 

Last year, 23, was so so different. Payton was itty bitty. my birthday snuck up in a whirlwind of diapers and midnight feedings. Last year was when i realized birthdays will never be the same. and i’m ok with that.

This morning started with cuddles and giggles, best presents ever. I can’t really think of a list of things I want more than that. I realize that my birthday is no longer about celebrating “me” but celebrating this life I am blessed to live. That includes my amazing and handsome hubby. my beautiful baby girl. all the extended friends and family I am so lucky to have.

So here is to an amazing 24th year!!!

change in perspective.

music has always meant a lot to me. certain songs hit me right in the heart. a lot of songs have made me cry. some make me laugh. i always tend to find myself identifying with one of the “characters” in the song. there are songs that become “anthems” of certain times in my life. some songs have no real meaning in and of themselves, but carry a memory. “my boo” by usher reminds me of my first boyfriend. “roses” by outkast and “yeah” by usher remind me of my junior prom. “save a horse ride a cowboy” reminds me of senior year military ball. “chasing cars” by snow patrol and “hey there delilah” by Plain white T’s remind me of when chris and I were dating. And of course all those girly fall in love songs…. I always was the girl searching for love. Rebecca St James “Wait for me” was a song I held on to for a long time.

Anyway, all of that to say this… Yesterday I was listening to some Taylor Swift. Her song “Fifteen” came on. Usually I find myself remembering my first day of 9th grade (and shaking my head as I remember the bright orange shirt and floor length jean skirt that I wore… and thought was cool. ugh) but this time those weren’t the first thoughts that came to my head. she sings “then you’re on your very first date and he’s got a car and you’re feelin like flyin. your mama’s waiting up…..” suddenly i wasn’t the young girl searching for love, i was the mom waiting up for her baby girl. it was my first thought. my perspective changed. i started thinking about Payton’s first date. her crushes. how to deal with her heartbreak (or how to break the legs of the guy who breaks her heart). I know she’s not even walking yet, dating is a long way off…. But it was a big deal for me to realize the characters i identified with have changed. I’ve been through a lot of heartbreak and gained a lot of wisdom. I realize now that I can try my hardest to impart that to Payton, but sometimes you do just have to learn for yourself. Watching her learn those lessons isn’t easy. Sometimes you don’t know the stove is hot until you touch it yourself. Those lessons are the ones that mean the most.

Anyway, I know I’m rambling now. You should have seen me yesterday, I was a blubbering idiot. Some days I’m thankful I’m home alone so people don’t have to see me like that. ha. so, cheers to “growing up” and thinking more mommy like.