This is Not What I expected

When I went in for surgery I knew my recovery would take about 3 months, minimum. My plan was to just take it easy, mentally and physically. Obviously I would be out of the gym completely for 6 weeks, Read more

Abdominoplasty Update: 10 Weeks Post Op

73e37dcdde3a4fd5bba37aa585ace474564425e3c14a01c5d1 I remember when I was 10 weeks away from my abdominoplasty  thinking it seemed so far away. Now I can’t believe it has already been 10 weeks since my surgery  It seems like so long ago when I was trying to imagine Read more

3 Tips to Beating Diet Boredom

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Progresso™ through their partnership with POPSUGAR Select. While I was compensated to write a post about Progresso™, all opinions are my own.   When you tell someone that you are trying to eat healthier the last Read more

This is Not What I expected

When I went in for surgery I knew my recovery would take about 3 months, minimum. My plan was to just take it easy, mentally and physically. Obviously I would be out of the gym completely for 6 weeks, but even when I got released to workout I knew I wanted to take it easy and let my body fully recover. I didn’t want to stress out over workouts or food choices for those first 3 months. Basically, I just wanted to coast through recovery. Next monday I’ll hit that 3 month mark.


It’s weird now, though. When I first started losing weight I was so focused on the number on the scale. If I’m being totally honest, that number still hangs in my head. I wanted so badly to weigh 175lbs. I don’t know why. The stupid BMI scale says I should weigh 130, which is a joke. I guess I thought 175lbs seemed like an easier goal to achieve than 130 when I started out at 260ish lbs. When I started CrossFit the first few months the pounds fell off. And for the last few years they have gone up and down. The lowest I’ve been was close to this time last year, I was around 183. The highest I’ve been? This week. 199. I stepped on that scale, saw that number and it freaked.me.out. I know I’m leaner than I’ve ever been. So why does being so close to 200lbs scare me so much? Because I instantly flash back to that girl floating somewhere in the 200’s – afraid to really know for sure how much I weighed. I know I’m not the same person I was then. My lifestyle is completly different. My body is completely different. But that number still bothered me. I feel like I have conflicting desires. Because I want to be strong. But at what point does weight matter when you want to be strong? I want to be good at CrossFit – as a woman doing pull ups at 200lbs is hard. No, it’s not impossible… but it’s harder for me than someone who weighs 150. Yea, I may be able to squat more than some of those girls, but not all of them. So when does weight start to matter? I don’t know.

Anyway, after weighing in at 199 that morning I had an appointment to check in with my nutrition coach I worked with over the past year. It was my first appointment with him since my surgery. While I did freak out a bit about the weight on the scale I was feeling far leaner than I ever have before. After some measurements and pinches he told me my results…

The left side is my before… the right side my current. I’ve gone down 13mm in pinches, up 11lbs in lean body mass, and down 3.5% in body fat. Out of my 199 lbs on the scale approximently 166 of those are lean muscle. Uhm, what? I’m just under 19% body fat?! Are you serious? I was close to 50% body fat several years ago when I got a DEXA. Of course I know results from a pinch test are going to be different than a DEXA but still… It blew my mind being anywhere in that ball park.


I had a hard time reconciling the idea that I had such high muscle mass. I thought of that 135lb “suggested weight” on the BMI chart. I’d have to lose at least 30lbs of muscle to get there? No thanks. I even thought of that 175 “goal weight” and realized if I want to be there I’m either going to have to be super lean or lose some muscle.

I’m not unhappy with my body. Actually, I’m pretty damn proud of how far I’ve come. I’m proud of the quad muscles I see popping out. I’m proud of my newly revealed flat tummy that had been hiding under loose skin for the last year. Proud of my baby traps. It’s just when I think about being anywhere near 18-19% body fat this is not what I expected. I’m still technically plus size in size 14 jeans. I’m still close to 200lbs. But I’m strong. And I’m fit. And I’m healthy. And I’m happy. It’s just so hard to reconcile all these things in my little brain.

When it comes to weight loss, I’m finally in a place where I’m not all “I need to lose xxlbs” or whatever. I mean sure, I want to grow my muscles, but overall I don’t feel unhappy with my body. And I guess there is a part of me that almost feels guilty for NOT feeling like I have to change something about my body. I mean, growing up obese means I’ve basically been told all my life that my body and/or weight isn’t acceptable. That being a 200lb woman isn’t acceptable. So now that I’m at a place where I’m at peace with my body, yes even close to 200lbs, I almost feel guilty for that, like I should want to change something.  (Sidenote: I know some of you will say of course you feel that way you just had plastic surgery, of course you’re at peace with your body… but that was just the final step after years of work in the kitchen and the gym!) It just feels so foreign to actually embrace my body for where it is. To be clear I’ve never hated my body. I didn’t bask in my self-loathing thoughts, I just knew I was not in a healthy place with my body composition. At 5’3 and 250lbs and close to 50% body fat I knew I needed to change something.

I know in our minds we all have some idea of what our ideal body/weight/composition is and how it would look on us. I know I did. And I guess all I’m saying is that my reality is different from that picture I had in my head. It’s not disappointing and I’m not upset about it. It’s not that one is good and one is bad… it’s just not what I expected. I guess I just have to learn to adjust my expectations. Cause I sure as heck don’t want to lose my hard earned muscle!

Do you (or did you) have different expectations about your before/after?

Posted on by Courtney in CrossFit, life, weight loss 4 Comments

Abdominoplasty Update: 10 Weeks Post Op

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I remember when I was 10 weeks away from my abdominoplasty  thinking it seemed so far away. Now I can’t believe it has already been 10 weeks since my surgery  It seems like so long ago when I was trying to imagine what it would be like to have my hanging skin gone, smooshing and folding it while standing in front of the mirror. These past 10 weeks I’ve had to relearn my body. I still am caught off guard when I catch a glimpse of myself in a picture or a mirror as I walk by. Other times I feel like this is how my body has been forever. Mostly I feel like I am finally able to see the body I have earned. It’s weird because people who meet me now have no idea where I’ve come from. I truly have had to earn this body. In the gym, in the kitchen, and even in surgery and recovery. I have earned it.

I feel mostly back to normal now. I owe you a few more workout recaps. At CrossFit I’m almost back to where I was before. I still don’t have 100% core strength back so sit ups and push ups are harder than they were before. I am able to move moderately heavy weight again. Mostly I’m able to do all the workouts without having to modify because of my surgery. Things like running and jump rope are 1 million percent easier without my skin bouncing around. In just the 4 weeks I’ve been back to working out I’ve seen awesome changes. I do believe I see a baby ab poking through!

The most common questions I get are about weight changes and clothing size changes. I know this may be disappointing, but I actually weigh within a pound or two of what I did on surgery day! Stupid scale. I stick around 194ish and I was 196 on day of surgery. As far as clothes go, I wear the same clothes I wore before they just look better! I’m a size 14 in most jeans and can go between a Medium-Large in shirts. All my workout clothes fit a bit different, but they still fit. Speaking of workout clothes, I was able to try out Knixwear Athletic Underwear. I’m wearing them in this picture, but you can’t tell! No panty lines, stays in place, and is moisture wicking.

As far as swelling goes, it isn’t as regular of an occurance as it used to be. I still swell in my lower abdomen especially after workouts, but not always. My whole trunk used to swell and it has gotten better each week.

The scar has healed beautifully. I once it healed I started putting a belly balm on it and just a few weeks ago the awesome folks at GelZone sent me one of their wraps and silicone strips to try out for scar therapy. The wrap is also great for compression and it stays in place wonderfully.  The silicone strips are reusable and washable and are easy to wear when I’m not wearing the wrap. The scar is still pink, but it isn’t bumpy or raised. With continued use of the scar therapy I’m certain it will eventually be barely noticeable.

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Overall, I’m still estatic about the procedure as a whole. I don’t regret it for a second. The recovery has been far easier than I imagined. It wasn’t easy, but it was easier than I thought it would be. There is a lot on the mental side I want to talk about, but I’m saving that for its own post.

Do you have any questions about the procedure and recovery process?
Any scar care tips?

Posted on by Courtney in life, plastic surgery, weight loss 4 Comments

3 Tips to Beating Diet Boredom

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Progresso™ through their partnership with POPSUGAR Select. While I was compensated to write a post about Progresso™, all opinions are my own.

 

dietboredom

When you tell someone that you are trying to eat healthier the last thing they probably think of is flavorful foods. The stereotypical “healthy diet” usually consists of bland chicken breasts, steamed green beans, and rice or potatoes. My biggest pitfall when it comes to sticking with a diet or eating plan is that I default to those same safe, boring foods. Then I get bored and I want to eat all the unhealthy things. That can turn into a full on train wreck, derailing all the progress I’ve made. All because I was bored with chicken, green beans, and potatoes. Sticking to a diet or eating plan doesn’t have to be torture. Here are my 3 tips for beating diet boredom

 

  1. Experiment with Flavor and Spices

When I first got married spices scared me. As I got more adventurous I would add salt and pepper… Crazy, right?! The more I learned the less scared I was of trying new things. Chili Powder, Paprika, Turmeric, Cumin…. Heck, even a dash or two of a pre-mixed seasoning blend makes all the difference! I eat a lot of chicken breast but by using different seasoning blends creates a whole new Flavor Experience! Speaking of flavors, did you know Progresso™ soup has 40 delicious flavors at 100 calories or less per serving?

 

dietboredomprogresso

 

 

  1. Create a Sampler

One of my favorite new ways of escaping boredom is to create a sampler or snack plate. By using several different types of food you can stay interested in what you’re eating, experience different flavors and textures, and when you portion them out and it saves calories too! One thing I did this week was created a sampler of deli meat, pickles, tomatoes, cheese, and Progresso™ Light Savory Beef Barley Soup. My meal clocked in at 355 calories, had a good mixture of protein, carbs and fat, and kept me full for hours. And it fits in with tip number 1, because it was full of flavor!

 

dietboredomsampler

 

 

  1. Make It Pretty

The more colors, the better! I know I tend to take more pleasure in my food when it is aesthetically pleasing. I used to not care what food looked like and would scarf it down without thinking. No, just because it looks good doesn’t mean it’s going to taste better. But if you take the time to create a beautiful meal you will be more likely to want to take your time eating it, enjoying the entire process and you’ll be likely to eat less. So go buy a pretty new bowl. Get a colorful mixed salad. Use your fancy china.

 

 

When you defeat diet boredom and trim up you might just need some new clothes, right? Well Progresso™ wants to help you out!

 

Oh yes you can enter for a chance to win a wardrobe makeover for you and three of your friends, courtesy of Progresso™! Enter the ProgressOh! wardrobe makeover contest at Progresso.com/ProgressOh. Four deserving Progresso™ fans and three of their friends will each win a $1,000 cash card and a year-long subscription to the POPSUGAR “Must Have Box”

 

Your Turn: Tell me how you defeat diet boredom!

 

Posted on by Courtney in cooking, weight loss 2 Comments
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