Life

Life is more than THAT MOMENT

We dream of it so long. Plan it out. Play it over in our minds. What the “after” is going to look like. What it feels like when we have “made it” and are finally successful. I guess in all those years of dreaming and planning and imagining THAT MOMENT that I never thought about what the next day would look like. But What happens after that?

As a little girl I dreamt of my wedding day. I loved the jewelry and the ballgowns and spent so long dreaming of THAT MOMENT when I’d walk down the aisle. Married- October 2007I watched every.single.episode of TLC’s A Wedding Story. When life happend different than I had planned I realized that the moment I dreamed of was so insignificant. It wasn’t about that moment, it was about every moment after that. We eloped and never had a wedding but have had a better marriage than I could have ever dreamt of. I should have seen how this lesson would play out in the rest of my life, but I didn’t. I still kept searching for, planning, and dreaming about “THAT MOMENT” in other areas of my life…

THAT MOMENT when your child is born.

babypayton

It is truly magical and absolutely life changing… but it isn’t just that moment that changes your life. It is every moment after that. In the spectacular moments like when she says “Mama” or takes her first steps… or those frustrating moments when you get in your first fight over what she wears and you realize that she is her own person… or when you realize you can’t protect her from pain the way you wish you could. It isn’t just one moment… it is every one of those moments strung together in a lifetime of memories that is truly special and absolutely life changing.

When I was overweight the thing that kept me pressing on through every workout or sticking to my meal plan was the dream of THAT MOMENT when I would look in the mirror and see Skinny Courtney staring back at me. When I would fit into a size 10…. or weigh a certain weight. When I would feel “done” with my weight loss journey. I dreamt about that before and after side by side. I never thought about the day after that. In some twisted dream world I am sure I thought it would look like it did before, eating whatever I wanted without caring. But it doesn’t. I thought I would never think about parts of my body I didn’t like. But I still have days where I struggle with parts of my body.

IMG_9288

As an owner of several different businesses I dreamt about THAT MOMENT when I would feel like we made it. Many people already feel like we are successful, and I feel like we have done well for ourselves for sure… but I struggle with feeling like we are the success others believe us to be because it doesn’t look like I thought it would. I figured we would struggle through our 20’s and then somehow turn 30 and BAM… we would have arrived. We would be living large with fat bank accounts and have “people” to do the busy work for us or something outrageous like that. I thought that somehow making it would mean it would be easy… but it’s not. It’s still early mornings, late nights, and doing a lot of stuff on our own… like business taxes, business license, budgeting and fees…. It’s still a lot of work.

For so long I lived for those moments, temporarily suspending life waiting to enjoy it until I reached that moment I was working towards. Once I was married…. had a kid… lost the weight… had a successful business… than I would enjoy life. This cycle will continue to consume me unless I stop it. There will always be some goal to chase, some moment I dream about. Yes, it is good to have goals to work towards… but as soon but I don’t want to look back on the life I missed out on because I was focused on chasing that one single moment in time when everything was perfect. Just because you aren’t where you want to be doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy where you are.

enjoywhereyouare

So live in the now. Enjoy the life you’ve already built. Chase your dreams, but not at the expense of missing out on the many moments that happen before they come true.

How can you enjoy the life you already have?

Life

Finding Me

Oh, Hey there. Remember me?

Photo on 4-20-15 at 12.59 PM #3

 

I’ve been pretty absent here, but not without reason. If I’m being totally honest I’ve struggled with the whole “healthy living blogger” label lately. When I started blogging about my weight loss journey it was to inspire others and keep myself accountable. My intentions have always been genuine. I never once wanted people to think there was only one way to lose weight, exercise, or eat. I just wanted to share that “hey, this is what I’m trying” – and I’ve tried a lot. I’ve vascilated from super strict paleo/whole 30 to a prescribed meal plan from a nutrition coach, to counting calories and macros… and found myself in a “screw it all” mindset a few times in between. I’ve done my fair share of “preaching” about what is right and what is wrong…. and sharing pictures of every.damn.thing I eat. I’ve watched people I care deeply for follow some of the advice I gave or things I’ve tried and take it to extremes which I, personally, find unhealthy. Again, this is just my point of view. What is right for me isn’t what is right for everyone. I am at a place with my body right now that I truly love it. I don’t care about the scale. I don’t care what size the tag of my clothes are. I know I am healthy and I am happy. I have no desire to restrict what I eat because a blog/article/”expert” said I should. I am confident that I know my body and what is good for it. I make good choices most of the time. I also make choices that make my soul feel good. Like sharing a piece of tiramisu with my husband at dinner.

I spent so long chasing the answer, but I had it all along. Don’t restrict foods you love because someone told you that you should. Carbs don’t make you fat. Fat doesn’t make you fat. Food isn’t scary. Enjoy what you love, but be smart about it. I don’t feel like I need to write more than that about it. If anything, I hope this gives you permission to explore something other than the latest fad that is supposed to be the answer we have been looking for all along… you don’t need that. You know your body and what works and what doesn’t. If what you are doing is working, don’t change it. If it isn’t getting you where you want to go than you need to change it. It doesn’t have to be some super spiritual life changing “join my team” type experience…. Just do what works for you. Don’t make it more complicated than it has to be.

This journey that I’ve been on has been about much more than weight loss. It has really been about finding me.

IMG_0616

In the last month or two I feel like I’ve really started to bloom. I don’t know if turning 28 was like my “turning point” or what. I’ve really done some deep soul searching, explored feelings that I previously avoided, asked and answered some hard questions… And guess what? I can honestly say with 100% confidence that I am the happiest, healthiest, and least stressed that I have ever been. I feel like I’ve realized how short life really is and how much time and energy I put into things that really don’t matter. So I’ve been saying yes to things I find important, and no to things I don’t. I stopped doing things just to do them. I’ve discovered what really makes me feel alive, makes my heart beat louder and my eyes sparkle is helping others become their best selves. If that means listening to them tell me about their life, coaching them through a WOD, or a simple comment of encouragement on social media… that is what I want to do. I want to be my best and by doing so help others do that too. I don’t want to be fake. I don’t want to post just flowery words and food journals. I want to share my raw, unorganized, and sometimes unpopular points of view. Because life is too short to try to be someone you’re not.

What makes you feel alive… makes your eyes light up and your heart beat louder?
Now, Go do that thing.

 

CrossFit, Life

Total Tabata with HumanX Gear

In the last couple years there has been an increased interest in High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) in the fitness world. One of the most popular types of HIIT has been Tabata training. Named after it’s creator, Japanese scientist Izumi Tabata, the Tabata style workout is 8 rounds of 20 seconds of work with 10 seconds of rest, for a total of 4 minutes. I love Tabata because the built in rest lets me go hard for those 20 seconds, knowing I have a short rest period coming. For this workout we are going to do 4 complete Tabata rounds with 4 different movements!

IMG_9298

The First Movement is: Jump Rope!

humanxgearjumprope

I love the HumanX Gear X4 Speed Rope for jump roping. You can pick your poison on this tabata, either single jump ropes or if you are efficient at Double Unders go ahead and give those a whirl. Remember we are working for 20 seconds and resting for 10 seconds for a total of 8 rounds.

After we get you feeling nice and warmed up with the jump rope we are going to move on to our next tabata: Kettlebell Single Arm Press.

IMG_7537Start by hoisting the Kettlebell up to your shoulder as pictured. You can use the HumanX Gear Kettlebell Arm Guards to protect your forearms from the Kettlebell. From here you are going to tighten your core and press the Kettlebell up to a locked out position.

IMG_7536

 

Since a full tabata is 8 rounds we are going to alternate arms each round. So you will end up doing 4 rounds on each arm

The third movement we are going to do is a seated row using the HumanX Gear PowerAmp Resistance Band.

IMG_7541

 

Sitting down and positioning the band on the middle of your foot start with arms parallel to the deck and back nice and straight.

IMG_7540

Keeping that back straight, core tight pull those bands back, focusing on activating those back muscles.

Do this for 20 seconds on, 10 seconds off for a total of 8 rounds.

To finish off our Total Body Tabata we are going to plank it out! If you have a yoga mat, or the Eco-Fit Mat, you can use that. You can also use an AbX to cushion your arms on the floor. For this one you want to make sure you keep your core tight and back flat. You don’t want a saggy plank! You also don’t want your butt high up in the air.

IMG_7539

 

You’re going to hold the plank for 20 seconds and then rest for 10, again for 8 total rounds.

And there you have a Total Body Tabata!

Have you ever done a tabata? Love it or hate it?